test results
4:45 p.m. - 07.10.02
got up at 1:50 for my 2:00 appt at planned parenthood. i went there for my tests and exams 2 weeks ago and had to go back today for the results. i'm happy to say i'm free of any deadly diseases. i was still crying a little in the waiting room. guys really don't know what women go through to maintain their sexual health, both physically and mentally. guys go to strip clubs and pay $10 for a lap dance and spend $2.95 for a trial membership for rape sites. guys can pay .25 for a private viewing booth and they don't even have to mop up, someone is paid to do it, like hotel maids. girls get to walk through a picket line to get birth control and their uterus scraped annually for cancer. $30 for AIDS test, $150 for birth control and another $60 for the exam and tests for gonorea, chlamidia, etc.girls sit in the waiting room filling out paperwork asking how many people you've fucked, how much do you drink, do you use drugs, have you had anal sex, sex with more than one person at a time, are you hetero, homo, or bi. while filling out the 6 pages of paperwork you hear the protesters praying for you outside and the nurse on the phone telling the caller that herpes I is different than herpes II, and the caller is highly urged to come in for emergency contraception and a pregnancy test. once and a while you see boyfriends there, holding the girls' hand (God bless them! they are men). under the circumstances today, that's what made me cry the most. i asked dave if he would go to get the tests done too, he said 'whatever you want'. well, that was over 3 weeks ago. he couldn't even believe i had to go through all that. he just said 'i thought you just went up to the counter and ask for a bunch of pills". was he afraid to get a swab up his penis, or is this just not sexy enough for him? or too expensive? not worth the money?
fuck it
then went to my old therapist to sign a release for my records, so my attorneys can fight for my bankruptcy hardship. i had one letter from my current therapist but that wasn't enough for the pre-trial. i'm scared that i'm going to remain mentally disabled and still have to owe $40,000 for my student loans. it makes me want to get high, drunk, or to sleep. instead i took a walk to the market to my favorite gyro stand. i got to speak a little greek - hello, thank you, etc. i really wish i was in greece again. christ, how am i even going to make money to get over there?
my friend is coming in from NYC tonight. very glad that we will be able to hang out for a few days.
test results - 07.10.02
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