i remember that i can laugh
1:10 a.m. - 08.19.02
this program is working. art, bill and allie have become friends, i'm pretty sure.
went to an afternoon meeting today and bill and art invited me to art's house for dinner. we had a great time and these are the first two men who i really feel comfortable with alone outside of the meetings. they are two of few that i have felt that have treated me like a person who is truly seeking recovery, not a date.
the first meeting we went to was a little too much like a soap opera - too much personal drama which hindered good conversation in the group.
the second meeting we all went to was better. the ride home was fun. the four of us were so busy talking, Art had no idea he was going 20 miles BELOW the speed limit. it was so funny. we got pulled over, and we all laughed about it was the first time we all got pulled over without being scared shitless.
we didn't get home until just now. i told them they helped me stay clean for another day. i can't tell you how much they did. i had a very 'bipolar' afternoon and grandma is starting to forget things that were said 5 minutes before. i was really thinking that it wouldn't matter if i got another bottle of wine tonight.
thanks to the three of them i didn't need it, or want it anymore. the happiness i feel in my heart right now is sparkling clean. i am enjoying this 'new' way of life: honest sharing and laughing with good people.
i wish i could write more right now but i'm so tired. i laughed so much tonight. i can't remember when was the last time i was tired from laughing. i remember plenty of times being tired from depression or smoking too much weed. may i never forget those days, and may i never have to go to sleep wasted again.
i remember that i can laugh - 08.19.02
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