i don't know what to say
2:20 p.m. - 12.28.02
i'm still working on the site. also looking at business plan websites.
yes, it was busy yesterday. i was on the phone most of the day, setting up appointments with gift shops to show the prototype.
ok - i'll attempt to explain what happened thursday night. i was invited to get together with laura, leslie and christopher. i told them it was 'iffy' if i was going to go.
i was sleeping at 6 p.m. when Tony called and woke me up. tony is johnny's friend. i met him the first night i was 'out' with johnny at some art openings. very nice and cool guy. the second time i saw johnny he invited me over for dinner, where tony and their friend tracy were there.
some readers might remember that i stopped talking with johnny after several times he asked me to come over and hang out at his apartment. i had suggested those few times that we meet somewhere in my 'hood, or to meet at the tea house which is around the corner from his place. he always said no because either he was broke or his car was broken.
since then two of his friends have come to his aid, halim and tony - calling me and telling me that johnny is a real nice guy, with good intentions, and thinks i am interesting to talk with, it's just that he has had bad luck this holiday season.
so anyway, tony called me thursday night, and told me he'd like to have a dinner party and invite johnny and me, but wasn't sure if i'd be uncomfortable with that. also, that if i didn't ever want to talk with johnny again, that he would still like to have coffe with me and become friends, because 'you're a very cool person, and you have a lot to offer.'
i thought over a lot of things. then i thought what harm would become if i broke down and called johnny and was honest with him about my feelings of what happened, and how i thought that he was avoiding being in public with me.
so i called him. we talked about it. and after i met with my friends i went to his place.
we talked for a long time. he was asking me a lot of personal questions. not intrusive questions, but questions that i just haven't been used to answering to any of my 'new' friends since my breakdown two years ago. i was getting a little antsy, and he asked me if i talk about this stuff with anyone. only my therapist, i told him.
a few hours later we started to kiss and make out. i told him right off te bat that i wasn't ready to do 'everything.' so he didn't try 'everything,' which was nice. everything about it was nice. he is sexy.
we talked yesterday and i told him i was too busy with the site and stuff, so i couldn't meet him out.. maybe tonight or tomorrow. he seemed cool with that.
i like him, but i don't know him that well. i guess that's why you're supposed to date someone, right? but i'm still not sure about the whole thing. i don't want anyone to get mixed up or hurt, uhh - especially me.
i don't know what to say - 12.28.02
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