can't follow through
10:16 p.m. - 10.20.02
i wrote a scathingly hurtful letter to dave but i did not send it. i did the right thing and waited until the next morning to send it, and i decided not to. it exposed some of his weaknesses. why whould i intentionally hurt someone who is inherently a good person just because i have been depressed? would it cure my depresson? hell no! it would only feed into my guilt, and inflict pain on someone else.
i promised myself that i would finally write about what happened to my dad in viet nam, and what happened to me afterwards (although you can guess what my situation is now and what was one of the attributes). some how, it is just not coming out of this keyboard. when ever i try to write about it, i feel a need to download some more music, check my email or play a mindless slot-machine game (and i loathe casinos).
maybe later on i will, though i have to warn you, i feel that i have built this up way too much. it isn't fantastic, but it is not exclusive. i'm sure that stories like this have happened to other vets. the thing that pisses me off is that it is not the last time a story like this will happen.
can't follow through - 10.20.02
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