crashing
10:49 a.m. - 06.06.03
i'm crashing. i've been crashing for a few days now. i guess a little of it was self-imposed because i made myself remember my dad's deathe. --- but everything else feels like bugs crawling on me. i have been so busy lately with art shows and meetings it's making my head spin. each time i'm at a meeting and everyone is writing down all of the events we have to prepare for in the coming weeks it is making me cry and panic.
i skipped a downtown merchants meeting last night, resting the weight of it on my partners ken and geof - who both have real jobs and other responsibilities, yet they can pack their day full with extra events and it doesn't even bother them. i am the weak link. i may have to take some time off from doing all the art stuff, because i feel i'm going to explode. ken says that's alright, he wants me to be well. but, i have this extreme quilt that i am going to be missing out on everything. i feel that i don't deserve to belong to this
i don't understand, all that good publicity i got a few weeks ago was supposed to make me happy? right? my picture is even in this week's newspaper. everyone is telling me how faboulous i look. why does that make me cry and feel horrible?
crashing - 06.06.03
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