a pure bipolar moment
11:02 a.m. - 09.20.02
yesterday and today have been hard. i am going through a bipolar episode without any drugs, or even cigarettes. i am so used to self medicating myself to make all of this quirkiness go away. i have a bazillion thoughts going through my head now and i can't seem to calm down. wierdly enough, i feel completely exhausted and desperately want to go back to sleep. i tried to take a nap the past few days, but they became 7 hour sleeping escapes. then, when i woke up, i realized i missed a meeting, and forgot that i promised to give my cousin a ride. of course, that got me more depressed.
i was so happy the last few days. i was conquering the world. i was doing yoga at 6 am, morning meditation with my sponsor at 7, working out at 9, then working around the house. grandma was so pleased i wasn't procrastinating and getting things accomplished. now, all of a sudden, i have seemed to have crashed. i feel too overwhelmed.
my health may have attributed to this phase i'm in. i was sick with a cold all last week, and now i got my period with cramps from hell!!! both have slowed down and/or cancelled my workouts, which have bummed me out.
at least i am still going to meetings on a daily basis, except when i was really sick.
i am glad and proud of myself that i am experiencing this phase chemical free, although it really sucks. i want the happiness i had a few days ago and the week before i got sick, but i know i can get there again.
a pure bipolar moment - 09.20.02
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