once again, i am back
2:03 p.m. - 09.18.03
hello my friends. i'm so sorry i haven't updated. i've been writing in my blog, but not even that much. i've been preparing stuff for this week's poetry slam - my first official 'competition'. i'm quite nervous about it. i might just go to the first one and not read. that might make things a bit easier.
everything else is going well. i'm on new meds. SSSOOOOOO glad i got off of the lexapro - that shit made me gain more weight, i was too dizzy to even drive, and MY HAIR WAS FALLING OUT!!!! there were no big bald spots or anything, but it was very apparent on my hairbrush and my pillow that i was shedding like a dog.
now i'm on effexor and trileptal. so far, so good. i've had more energy (which has meant less time in front of my PC) and i haven't been stressing and freaking out over every little thing.
plus, the best news is: I'VE LOST 13 POUNDS!!!!
i've had a couple more first dates, but only first dates. they are both kinda funny stories that i will soon share. I'm proud of myself of the way i handled myself on those dates. if it was a few years ago, i probably would have made a bunch of excuses, rationalizedthe guys' pasts of drinking and screwing around with married women. I probably would have 'glossed' over these facts and would become all starry-eyed, because this good-looking guy would tell me i'm beautiful. I'd probably hang onto them and get into an 'instant' relationship, and then be sorry afterwards.
i'm so glad now that my therapy and my growing maturity have allowed me to see the 'signs.' I'm glad that I no longer feel 'obligated' to date someone just because they ask me and tell me i'm hot.
grammatically this entry probably really sucks, but i've missed everyone here and i only have a few minutes online now.
oh - and hey - did ya notice, my diary is unlocked now - at least for the time being. we'll see how it goes.
once again, i am back - 09.18.03
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